Dr. Deb

Party like a Rock Star to ring in the New Year usually means lots of alcohol but many more are adding caffeine to the mix to “party stronger-party longer.” Rum and coke has always been around but new friends like red bull and vodka and even premixed alcoholic energy drinks are the rage. A new study in the journal Behavioral Neuroscience shows that mixing the two may be much more dangerous than you think.

Alcohol is a depressant so people usually stop drinking when they feel too drunk or too tired. Caffeine added takes away the perception of being drunk so one may continue to drink. You really don’t sober up with a cup of coffee, you just may feel more alert so you take on more risks and still perform poorly as tested by University of Kentucky researcher, Mark Fillmore

In a recent study in the Journal of Behavioral Neuroscience, scientists gave groups of young adult mice alcohol alone to cause intoxication, caffeine alone in the equivalent of one up to six or eight cups of coffee for humans and a combination of both.

They looked at 3 functions:

Learning, Anxiety and Locomotion

(more…)

Holiday Stress Remedies

This is the year that I have finally accepted, despite my best-laid plans; things are going to go wrong. I will not have all my shopping done early. I will eat too much of the wrong thing. I will feel a bit melancholy or blue for no reason at all. You know what, that’s OK. It happens every year… but the difference is that this year, I am not going to beat myself up about! I am going to keep moving, move on and savor all of the imperfections of this holiday season.

Here is my 2009, Dr. Deb prescription for a healthier, happier less stressed holiday.

5 Holiday Stress Remedies

1.Make your List and check it twice.

Just as Santa makes his list, so should you. We are bombarded with jobs, shopping, parties that can be overwhelming. Take the time to make a list of whom you buy for as well as all of the activities that you would like to do. Put everything that you can think of on the list. Then spend the time to do 3 things

What are the things that I can eliminate? If you have always exchanged with friends, talk to them. Friendship is not defined by gifts so simplify. Decide to stop the exchange, make simple presents like holiday baking or donate that money to a needy family. Be tough with the list and shrink down the gifts as well as the events as much as possible.

Sometimes we must eliminate traditions as well and not everyone will like it. If your mother in law insists upon 5 family meals in 2 days tell her this year we are only going to go to 2. Saying No can be the greatest stress buster there is.

Next, What has to be done today? This week think about things that need to be shipped, so get those things done today. School may not be out until next week so don’t worry about the teachers gifts. Just do what needs to be done today. Check it off the list, so you can feel a sense of accomplishment.

Save the list so you can build on it next year and plan even better.

2. Limit it and Stick to It!

Limit what you are willing to spend. Let the kids know that everyone is cutting back, including Santa. Material things do not buy happiness. We want to fulfill our children’s holiday dreams but think about how many of those things will actually matter 1 month, 1 year even one week from now.

Then you must stick to it. You may have set your financial goals but when you hit the store and see all the deals, next thing you know you’ve spent more on stuff for yourself than you did on the present that you went to get. So stick to the spending plan and don’t be duped into impulse purchases.

3. Change your Expectations

Sometimes we are overcome with depression and loneliness at the holidays even if everything is great. There’s this overwhelming fairytale expectation that overshadows whatever we already have. Tell yourself and your family, I’m grateful for what I have in this moment and I will appreciate it. Even if it means the Christmas tree for the 3^rd time or something more serious like spending a holiday without your mother, husband or child. Do not dwell on what you don’t have, but savor what is here in the moment. Count on creating new traditions every year.

If you think that you have a more severe problem that you can’t shake then click here for information and referrals or call 1-800-964-2000

4.Move it & Move on

EXERCISE! Find that time no matter how bad that you feel and I guarantee that you will feel better and be less likely to overindulge. Don’t give into to the “eating season” mentality and think I’ll start after the first. Healthy eating is not a switch that you turn on and off. Accept that you are likely to overindulge in fatty food and alcohol. Limit those as much as possible and when it happens instead of beating yourself up move on and move it.

5. Savor & Escape

Spend a few minutes everyday to savor what you do have. Escape from the chaos and enjoy some peaceful moments. It may be in front of the tree, driving around looking at the lights or even locking yourself in the bathroom just for a few minutes of quiet and reflections of gratitude everyday.

Luxuriate in a massage, hot bath, aromatherapy, or even better take a crisp walk and look at the lights. Don’t spend all the holiday time stressing about getting things done, instead enjoy the little fallible moments everyday.

May you have comfort, joy and PEACE in this holiday season

Dr. Deb

Alright, everyone in the car!” This is my daily battle cry. Unfortunately, many days there are too many battles (“No, I don’t know where your soccer ball is!  Did you forget your saxophone? What is that car funk smell? What do you mean, you don’t have shoes on?”) and way too much crying before we ever get out the driveway. Many of us feel stress, but how much of our stress is felt by our children?

A recent American Psychological Association survey of 1,568 adults aged 18+  and for the first time included 1,206 young people aged 8-17 years, reported that we are all feeling stress. It showed 75% of adults feel moderate to high stress and most children reported stress too.

What is interesting, is that many parents did not feel that their child had stress or recognized that their children had physical symptoms from stress. 63% of the parents surveyed said they believed their stress levels had slight or no influence on their child’s stress levels. In fact, 91% of children reported that they had stress with many reporting physical symptoms and that their stress was related to their parents’ stress.

Children Reported Physical Symptoms Related to Stress

Red are 8-12 yr olds TWEENS

Blue are 13-17 year olds TEENS

This compares what the children actually reported vs what their parents thought that they would report.

30%/42% say they get headaches vs. 13% of parents

39%/49% cite difficulty sleeping vs. 13% of parents

27%/39% report eating too much or too little vs. 8% of parents

What are 5 common things our children stress out about?

1. 44% /43% worry about doing well in school

2. 28%/31% worry about family having enough money

3. 5%/29% getting in to a good college

4. 17%/26% how they look/weigh

5. 22% /11% getting along with friends

Click here to read more about the APA survey

5 Stress Busters for Kids

1. Be available and set the low stress example:

85% of kids surveyed said they were not comfortable talking to Mom or Dad because parents are so busy. Get off the computer or the cell phone or blackberry and be available to your child so you can really listen to them. It is often not advice than children need, but to be heard.

Contrary to what one might think, kids were not so stressed about their abundant activities, but their parents’ reaction to those activities. They worry about Mom freaking out in the car ride to the event more than the event itself. (Guilty as charged)

2.Be honest:

Children know when parents are upset. Sometimes their fears are worse than reality. Explain to them the situation and reassure them that your family unit will be OK. If it means we lose the house,  we still do not lose each other. Working together the family can solve any problem. As my old Sicilian friend Marianna told her boys.  Family are like toothpicks. Alone they break easily. Together they are strong. A fist full of toothpicks cannot be broken. It is important to feel that the family is together as a one.

3. Eat healthy on a regular basis:

Little people and growing children need to eat frequently, more like 6 times a day. Fruits and vegetables help detox the body. When you put garbage in like processed and fast food you get garbage out and increase stress.

4. Exercise:

Exercise is the best antidepressant, anti-anxiety, anti-stress remedy for everyone. Get kids away from the screens (TV, computers, video games) and MOVE! Even better, play (without being critical of performance) with your child which will make for physical fun as well as provide a more relaxed time for children to open up and talk.

5.Routine & Rules:

Regular bedtime promotes better sleep, which is critical in reducing stress. Children also need clear boundaries and consistent rules. Knowing what to expect greatly reduces stress.

Everyday is an overbooked crazy day but the way we respond to it can make the difference between stress and sanity. Please check out my blog from last year for other stress busters especially as we approach the holidays!

PEACE!

Dr. Deb